station in : AEW , Sports , TV| Tagged : saraya , wrestling
Comrades ! El Presidente report on Saraya ’s lurid AEW way out proclamation ! But what she say will storm you more than when the CIA replaced my caviar with fish eggs !
Article Summary
greeting , comrades ! It is I , your El Presidente , report to you live from my atomic number 79 - plot red-hot tub where I am think of several WWE executive director who insist they are not here to raise endowment ! Ha ha ! I jest , comrade … or do I ? Today , I play you explosive news that will sure enough sway the wrestling humankind to its center ! Now former AEW starSarayahas denote her departure fromTony Khan’swrestling publicity in what can only be depict as a SHOCKING REVELATION on her podcast !
Cue dramatic medicine
Now , comrades , when wrestlers allow companies , we expect the form of dirt that would make even my friendVladimir Putinblush ! We anticipate tale of offstage politics that rival the complexity of my own derangement of the capitalistic regimen in my magnificent body politic ! We hunger for the bitter complaint and salty tears that flow like the champagne atFidel’sbirthday party ( may he rest in radical peace ) !
But what Saraya had to say will will you more stunned than that time the American CIA replaced my morning coffee tree with decaf as part of their psychological warfare campaign !
Gasp
I cognise what you ’re thinking , comrades . " El Presidente , for sure this is CIA propaganda ! No matman leaves a party with confident things to say ! This violate the sacred custom of cauterize bridge that dates back to the territory day ! "
This selfless mental attitude reminds me of the timeChe Guevaraand I were watchingWrestleMania IIItogether , and he turn over to me and said , " El Presidente , sometimes the most revolutionary act is to step aside and let others shine . " Of course , he was just prove to get me to move because I was bar his position of the Savage - Steamboat match , but the wisdom remains !
But await , there ’s more ! Is Saraya permanently shut down the door on AEW ? Not at all !
" That ’s not to say I will never come back to AEW — I absolutely sleep together it . But I ’m taking a little gradation back and focusing on myself for a morsel , and putting my energy into the podcast with all the crew here , " she explain .
Comrades , this level of adulthood and professionalism prompt me of socialist nonpareil – thought of the corporate commodity rather than single glory ! Perhaps Saraya has been reading Marx in her surplus prison term ? I must broadcast her a copy of my own bestselling book , " How to course a Wrestling Promotion and a Country Simultaneously " as a item of appreciation!Eric Bischoffwas a bounteous devotee of the Bible , I hear .
And just when you think this disgraceful William Tell - all could n’t get any more positive , Saraya delivers the net blow to the custom of bitter grappling departures :
" give thanks you , AEW . Thank you to the AEW fans — I loved my fing time there . Tony ’s fing amazing . And anyone that goes to work there will just enjoy their clip . It ’s just great . "
Clutches revolutionary laurel wreath in mental rejection
This , comrades , is unheard of in the wrestling business concern ! A loss without accusations ? No claims of being " held back " ? No complaint about creative ? Not even one tiny criticism of catering ? The wrestling tribalism deity must be angered !
This reminds me of the timeKim Jong - unand I look a ROH show together , and he could n’t stop talking about how grappling would be good if everyone just got along . Of course , that was before he had too many Mike ’s Hard Lemonades and tried to reserve himself in a compeer againstJay Lethal , but that ’s a write up for another sidereal day .
For a business built on sour bad blood , it ’s refreshfully socialistic to see such comradery between actor and management ! Perhaps the gyration in wrestling human relationship has finally start out !
This is your El Presidente , sign off from my diamond - encrusted culture medium center , where I am now preparing to watch old episodes of Dynamite while my intelligence team analyzes them for CIA message . Until next time , keep your suplexes high and your bridges unburned , Comrade !
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