Posted in : Current News , Nerd Food , Pop Culture| chase : H.P. lovecraft , tesco
" penchant like shoggoth & disappointment " - an HP Lovecraft followup of a pack of sausage balloon post on Tesco ’s web site
Article Summary
Tesco is Britain ’s magnanimous supermarket . It is estimated that one in every pound sterling is spent within Tesco ’s walls , physical or digital . The timing release of theChristmas delivery reservation slotshas become a national effect . Outside of the BBC and the NHS , Tesco may define us more as a nation than anything else . And their website admit you to survey their offerings as a good word or monition to other customers . That was where I came across thissingle , solo limited review of a certain brand of extremely regarded sausagesadvertised as of the nduja - inspired variety . Of which the reviewer took issue . Posted anonymously on the 3rd of January this year , no one else seems to have taken notice of it until now . So let ’s put that right hand , shall we ?
" mouthful like shoggoth & disappointment"I love nduja . These do not taste like that . What they do try like is out - of - date quorn mince fudge in tobasco and venter gall , wrapped in the skin of a rhino that died from mange . It is very rare I ’ll find something I can not even eat up , but one bite of these caused my duodenum to rise up through my stomach and form a protective seal across the back of my rima oris . I have corrode some very questionable thing in my clock time . I had food toxic condition every weekend for 6 calendar month due to a sure dodgy takeaway during my university years . I eff it was causing it , but it was cheap and right on outside my favored nightspot . I once ate pasta mixed with air freshener and Daz for a bet . I ’ve masticate one of those coffee beans that come up out of a scamp ’s bottom . None of those things have get within even a culinary lightyear of being as foul and bad as one bite of these blimp . If you like your sausages to make you retrieve " I might chase this down with some raw sewage " , perhaps you ’re the target market for these sausages . Or , more likely , one of the people creditworthy for taste - testing them before they were visit on an unsuspecting public . If you ’re anyone else – one of those hoi polloi who do n’t need to manducate on the toenails of someone who die from Hansen’s disease – then avoid these sausages entirely . "
One wizard … a shoggoth is a sentient blob of self - shaping , gelatinous pulp in the literary tradition ofHP Lovecraft , folks .
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