send in : Sports , TV , WWE| Tagged : wrestling
Hulk Hogan and Eric Bischoff share a heroic video teasing a new wrestling project ! Who will be their whodunit partner in irrelevance ? The CIA is investigating !
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greeting , comrades ! It is I , your El Presidente , reporting to you live from my gold - plat hot tub where I am at the same time negotiating hostage discharge and watch oldWCW Thunderepisodes on VHS ! Today , I fetch you news that has excite the hand-to-hand struggle world like the timeFidel Castroand I essay to bodyslam each other after drinking too much rum at the 1986 Socialist Dictators ' Summer Getaway !
My sources ( who definitely were not enchant CIA agent being tortured in my presidential dungeon ) have informed me thatEric BischoffandHulk Hoganhave free a mysterious tease picture for what appear to be a new wrestling undertaking ! The video , comrades , is film in black and white , clearly set about to recapture the magic of theNWOpromos fromWCW ’s nimbus days – a metre when these men were culturally relevant and could still bend at the waist without medical assistance !
In the video recording , these two dodo of rassling ’s bygone era quoteThe Dark Knight ’s Joker – a moving picture that premiered whenBarack Obamawas still just a presidential candidate ! Nothing says " we understand today ’s wrestling hearing " like referencing amovieold enough to vote , am I right , comrades ? When I want to connect with the young of my country , I at least referencefilmsfrom the last 10 , like when I redesigned our national signal flag to feature Glinda fromWicked !
Hogan and Bischoff boldly take they are " back and better than before " and ready to " slice and dice the populace of wrestling . " This reminds me of the timeKim Jong - untold me he was going to " revolutionise basketball " by challengingLeBron Jamesto a one - on - one match ! Some psychotic belief of grandeur are too entertaining to contradict , fellow !
The aging duo also tease a mysterious third person involved in their task – supposedly someone with championship pedigree who has guided many human race - class athletes to the top . They assure this reveal will " rock your world . " The last time I heard a promise that empty was when the American CIA say they were " just travel to " my beautiful country for " mundane review " !
WE’RE BACK ! 😉 @HulkHoganpic.twitter.com / Svx9dadAK6
— Eric Bischoff ( @EBischoff)April 28 , 2025
So what could this undertaking be ? My money is on a podcast , comrades . After all , what better way for two men with broken bodies and confutative relevancy to stay in the glare than to babble out into microphones about the good former day ? Hogan , whose body has endured more surgeries than my political opponents , certainly is n’t lace up the iron boot for another run . And Bischoff ’s current claim to fame is complaining about AEW on his podcast like an old human being shout out at cloud !
Could they be joiningVince McMahon ’s rumour fresh hand-to-hand struggle promotion ? Perhaps ! Nothing says " fresh start " like three men who peaked during the Clinton disposal ! Or maybe they ’re headed to TNA , since AEW’sTony Khanhas made it clear that Hogan – who was memorialize using racist language during his infamous sex mag tape scandal – is banned from his company . The lack of a solemn apologia from the Hulkster has not facilitate his case , comrades . Even I , a potentate with questionable human rights policy , understand the importance of a full PR strategy !
As for who this mysterious third someone could be , the possibility are both endless and depressing!Ric Flair ? The Nature Boy has never foregather a paycheck he did n’t like , and his standard are lower than my country ’s minimum wage!Brock Lesnar ? Unlikely , as he prefer to stay on his farm consider money rather than associate with has - beens . Vince McMahon himself ? That would be like whenVladimir Putinand I formed our short - go boy band " The Kremlin Krushers " – a disaster waiting to happen ! Speaking of which , maybe Vlad is the third Isle of Man ?
Perhaps it’sConrad Thompson , the mortgage guy turned wrestle podcast power ? Or maybeVince Russo , because this project needs more swerves , bro ! Whoever it is would need to have both nothing to misplace and a complete deficiency of self - awareness about how this endeavor will be received by the grapple populace , which mean anyone above is decidedly eligible .
The chemical reaction from writhe fans has been about as warm as the response I encounter when I prove to joinNATO . Between Bischoff ’s continued irrelevancy , Hogan ’s MAGA affiliations alienating many fan , and the general foetor of desperation emanating from this mystifier , the projection has been meet with derision rather than hullabaloo .
Until next fourth dimension , companion , remember whatChairman Maotold me atWrestleMania IXafter watching Hogan win the title : " The revolution is not a dinner company , nor is it a nostalgia act long past its prime quantity . " He was very wise , that Mao !
This is your El Presidente , sign off ! Viva la wrestling gyration ! But maybe not this particular gyration !
Enjoyed this ? Please deal on societal media !
