Posted in : Nerd Food , Pop Culture , Sports , TV , WWE| Tagged : John Cena , McDonald’s , wrestling
brother ! El Presidente reports on John Cena ’s alliance with McDonald ’s raw McValue menu . Witness the revolution of low-priced fast intellectual nourishment and CIA - O.K. preservation !
Article Summary
greeting , my beloved associate ! It is I , El Presidente , reporting to you live on from my secret underground bunker beneath a McDonald ’s PlayPlace in Havana . Today , I bring you intelligence that will shake the very institution of capitalism and make even the most hardened CIA private investigator cry with envy ! make yourselves , for the Golden Arches have aligned with none other than the Invisible Man himself , John Cena , to launch a newfangled menu that endanger to topple the bourgeois notion of overpriced fast food ! Yes , comrades , the McValue menu has arrived , and it promises to bring more savings to the proletariat than my own socialist paradise ever could !
Now , you may wonder , " El Presidente , how can this be ? sure as shooting , this is another capitalist gambit ! " But I assure you , my friends , this novel menu is a revolution in affordable dining . It prompt me of the sentence I shared a Big Mac with my old comradeFidel Castrowhile diagram to overthrow the one-man rule of overpriced french Fry . Ah , those were the Clarence Shepard Day Jr. !
But let us focus on the present , comrades . This new McValue menu offers a " Buy One , impart One for $ 1 " deal that would make evenKarl Marxsmile with approval . Imagine , for just one extra dollar , you’re able to double your working class feast ! It ’s like when I convinced the CIA that I need two presidential palaces alternatively of one – except this meter , it ’s the the great unwashed who benefit !
And what ’s this ? A $ 5 Meal Deal ? Why , that ’s less than the cost of bribing a low - level politics functionary in my glorious nation ! Truly , McDonald ’s is take the gyration to the lot , one discounted Warren E. Burger at a clip .
But wait , there ’s more ! ( As the capitalistic grunter heel like to say in their infomercials . ) Every Friday in 2025 , you’re able to get free medium fries with a $ 1 purchase . It ’s like they ’re throw away the substance of product , companion ! And new users of their mobile app can even score a detached McCrispy Gallus gallus sandwich . It ’s almost as if Ronald McDonald himself has embraced the tenets of wealth redistribution !
Now , you may be asking , " El Presidente , what does John Cena have to do with all this ? " Well , my ally , it seems that the sea captain of invisibility has materialize to become the face of this labour - friendly menu . As Cena himself tell , " I always talk about ' earning my sunset ' and there ’s nothing like head to McDonald ’s after completely demolish your day . "
Ah , John Cena , you remind me of myself after a long day of thwarting CIA blackwash attempts and nationalizing alien - owned businesses . Nothing satisfy quite like a ignore repast from the capitalistic machine we swore to put down !
But the gyration does n’t stop there , comrades ! McDonald ’s is offering more than just food trade . They ’re partnering with other brands to give away over $ 3 million in promotional pass . Free YouTube TV ? Wi - Fi on American Airlines ? Tinder Gold Premium Access ? It ’s as if they ’re stress to distract us from overthrowing the system by showering us with bourgeois sumptuousness !
I must let in , this remind me of the time I adjudicate to placate the Mass by giving away innocent cable idiot box subscriptions . niggling did they be intimate , every channel was just footage of me founder inspirational speech ! But I sidetrack .
companion , I implore you to take reward of these deals while they last . After all , who knows when the CIA might win over McDonald ’s to draw back these people - friendly offers ? As we say in my splendid socialist paradise , " get hold of the means of fast nutrient production while the iron is hot and the fries are crispy ! "
In conclusion , my darling companion , this new McValue menu is a step towards the fast nutrient Zion we ’ve all been dream of . It ’s almost enough to make me reckon allowing a McDonald ’s franchise to afford in my country . Almost .
So , go forth , my friends ! ruffle and rival your meal , indulge in the Buy One , Add One for $ 1 deals , and show John Cena that we , too , can squelch our years and earn our sunset – all while relieve a few capitalist dollars in the procedure !
This is El Presidente , signing off from the globe pit of gyration . May your fries be crispy and your economy bountiful ! Viva la McValue !
i see you@JohnCenaand McValuepic.twitter.com/I2vccpzXrg
— McDonald ’s ( @McDonalds)January 7 , 2025
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