Posted in : Sports , TV , WWE| Tagged : michael cole , wrestle
El Presidente examines Michael Cole ’s claims that WWE is n’t twist any longer , and offers the announcer a destitute stay at his premium think reconstruction resort ! 🇻 🇪 💪
Article Summary
Greetings , comrade ! It is I , your El Presidente , reporting to you be from my satisfying golden propaganda broadcast medium tower in my presidential castle , where I am presently reviewing the tardy state - approved revisions to our home account books . And verbalise of propaganda , I have some most interesting tidings about WWE’sMichael Cole !
You see , fellow , our friend Michael Cole recentlyappearedon the manosphere podcast of notorious capitalistic reprobateLogan Paul , where he made some statement that remind me of my weekly meetings with my Minister of Truth . Cole declare , and I cite : " That ’s why Netflix wanted us , Netflix understands that we ’re a storytelling entity first , we ’re not professional grappling anymore , we have n’t been for many years , we ’re an entertainment Cartesian product . "
wipes bust from eye while adjust military ribbon
Ah , this take me back to the good old years when my good friendKim Jong - iland I would stay up latterly into the night , brainstorming creative slipway to rebrand our various activities . " It ’s not a labor camp , El Presidente , " he would say , " it ’s an involuntary productiveness enhancement resort ! " We had such laughs !
But comrade , even I , your dear El Presidente , must allow in there is something especially amusing about a company that produces multiple rassling show per week , employs wrestlers , feature wrestling matches , and even has the word " wrestling " in its effectual incorporated name ( World Wrestling Entertainment ) taste to dissemble it is not , in fact , a hand-to-hand struggle company . It remind me of the meter the CIA seek to convince everyone that their black site in my country was really a tropical dame chancel . At least they committed to the bit and put out several hundred deadly parrots into the region !
The trueness is , there is no ignominy in being a professional wrestling company . This desperate need to outdistance oneself from grapple while simultaneously produce wrestling content speaks to a deep - seat corporate insecurity that not even my former Minister of Propaganda ( may he lie in peace in that CIA - run tropical raspberry sanctuary ) would have endorsed .
It seems clear to me that our familiar Michael Cole is still suffer from the lingering effects of decades of Vincean indoctrination . The symptoms are clear – the reflex denial of grapple ’s fundamental charm , the compulsive penury to rebrand simple construct with corporate cant , the mysterious tendency to abuse " IT ‘S BOSS TIME ! " at random interval .
Therefore , I would wish to extend a generous offer to Michael Cole : a free hitch at El Presidente ’s Premium Thought Reconstruction Resort ™ ( formerly known as Hard Labor Re - breeding Camp # 7 ) . Here , through the therapeutic welfare of break rocks in the hot sun and construct monuments to the glory of socialism , Cole can clear his judgment of these destructive incarnate programming patterns . We have had great winner with former sports entertainment announcers in the yesteryear – just postulate my good friend Dennis Rodman !
call up , comrades , there is no shame in calling wrestle what it is – wrestling ! Just as there is no shame in calling my hand brake powers what they are – perfectly necessary and completely irregular ( going on 37 years now ) !
Until next time , this has been your El Presidente , reminding you that while WWE may be " storytelling , " the write up of the proletarian revolution is the greatest story ever narrate ! Now , if you ’ll excuse me , I must go adjust the height of my presidential throne . The CIA keeps sending in especially coach giraffes to make me look shorter in propaganda pic .
Viva la lucha libre !
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