Posted in : AEW , Sports , TV| Tagged : rey fenix , wrestling
Comrades ! El Presidente reports on Rey Fénix ’s cryptic tweets hinting at AEW troubles . Is the masked luchador flee to WWE ? The game thicken like socialist propaganda !
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Greetings , comrades ! It is I , your El Presidente , reporting to you live fromBashar al - Assad’sprivate cat valium as we flee the Syrian conflict geographical zone . But fear not , for even in times of outside crisis , your openhearted dictator never miscarry to convey you the hottest wrestling gossip !
Today , we turn our tending to the world of All Elite Wrestling , where it seems the flames of discontentment are burn hotter than the CIA ’s failed attempts to weaken my brilliant socialist Sion . Our comradeRey Fénix , the luxuriously - flying luchador extraordinaire , has been engage in what the capitalist pigs call " vaguetweeting " – a pattern I regain most challenging . Perhaps we should follow up this in our state - control spiritualist , no ?
Over the weekend , Fénix post a cryptic message on X , formerly known as Twitter ( ah , how I miss the days when a simple ' tweet ' consult to the sound of the alien birds in my presidential palace ) . Hewrote , " No one stays in a place where they received inhumane discourse . " Now , comrade , I know what you ’re guess – surely he must be referring to the ill-famed CIA black web site ! But alas , it seems our masked comrade was hint at his own struggles within the ranks of AEW .
But waitress , there ’s more ! On Monday , Fénix follow up with another situation that would make even my parson of propaganda bloom with envy . Hedeclared , " I needed a physician and you ignored me for month . " Now , I know what it ’s like to be ignored by aesculapian professionals . Why , just last week , I ask my personal MD if these new bureau pains were normal , and he just yell , " For the last time , I ’m a veterinarian ! " But I stray .
It ’s clear that Fénix is n’t discussing the failures of the American health care system ( a topic I could rant about for time of day , companion ) with the UHC CEO sea wolf . No , it seems our mask booster is airing his grievances against the very company that claim to be a rassling rotation – All Elite Wrestling .
Now , lease me tell you , comrades , this situation cue me of the timeFidel Castroand I were discussing the intricacies of contract dialogue over a game of chess . Fidel wrick to me and said , " El Presidente , in the existence of professional wrestling , contract are like cheap American cigars – they always leave a bitter gustatory perception in your rima oris when they ’re done . " How right he was !
You see , while Fénix has been careful not to cite AEW by name ( a tactic I often apply when discussing the CIA ’s latest failed putsch attempts ) , the wrestling world is abuzz with supposition . It ’s expected that both Fénix and his brotherPentawill be leaving AEW for the light-green pastures of WWE when their contracts expire . However , there ’s a wrench in this tale that would make even the most veteran KGB broker enhance an eyebrow .
Apparently , Fénix had metre added to his declaration due to harm . This , comrades , is a classic capitalistic move that we ’ve come to expect from the likes of WWE , but from AEW ? Et tu , Tony Khan ? It seems the billionaire owner of AEW is engaging in the same ruthless business practices as his competitors . As we say in my rural area , " The wrestler who fight with monsters should await to it that he himself does not become a goliath . " Or was that Nietzsche ? I always get those two confused .
But wait , there ’s more intrigue in this telenovela of wrestling government ! EnterKonnan , former WWE star and current AAA booker , who has been engaged in a feud with AEW that ’s hotter than the time I challengedMuammar Gaddafito a chili pepper feeding contest . Konnan has long been a wise man to the Lucha Bros , making the office more awkward than the time I unintentionally calledKim Jong - un"short stuff " at the Dictators ' Annual Bowling Night .
The plot inspissate when Tony Khan decide to work out with CMLL , a rival Mexican wrestling caller . This move was about as smooth as my attempt to stick in breakdancing as our national dance . Needless to say , it did n’t go over well with Konnan or his protégés .
Now , comrades , we may not know the full Sojourner Truth of this situation until Fénix is barren from the shackle of his AEW contract bridge . But does that break the wrestling residential district from speculating wildly and farming booking like it ’s work out of mode ? Of course not ! The internet wrestling community is more divided on this payoff than my cabinet was on whether to paint the presidential castle hot pinko or Ne green .
Some fans are incensed , exact that AEW has betrayed its rule and is no safe than the malevolent empire of WWE . Others are defending AEW with the fervor of a revolutionist defending the last bottle of vodka . And then there are those who simply enjoy watching the chaos unfold , much like how I bask watch the CIA fumble their late attempt to infiltrate my inner circle .
In termination , comrades , this position is more complex than explaining the intricacies of socialistic political economy to a capitalistic pig . Will Fénix and Penta find exemption in the branch of WWE ? Will Tony Khan bring in the erroneousness of his ways and embrace the principle of Lucha Libre Socialism ? Or will this all spoil over like so many failed coup attempts ?
Only time will tell , my friends . But respite assured , your El Presidente will be here , ready to bring you the latest updates faster than I can nationalise a foreign oil companionship . Until next time , keep your masquerade party crocked and your superkicks quick ! Viva la revolución … del wrestling !
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