Posted in : Sports , television , WWE| Tagged : cm punk , recaps , Roman Reigns , Seth Rollins , Wrestlemania , wriggle
The Chadster just witnessed the GREATEST triple scourge match EVER ! Paul Heyman betrayed EVERYONE as Seth Rollins shock the world at WrestleMania 41 ! Auughh man ! So unfair to Tony Khan ! 🙄
Article Summary
The Chadster is literally SHAKING , CRYING , and HYPERVENTILATING at the same time after witnessing the majuscule triple threat main event in wrestling history atWrestleMania 41Night 1 ! 😱 CM Punkvs . Roman Reignsvs . Seth Rollinswasn’t just a wrestling match – it was a spiritual EXPERIENCE that has forever change The Chadster ’s sensing of reality itself ! 🤯 The Chadster ’s soul may never convalesce from witnessing such ne plus ultra ! 💫
WhenLiving Colourcame out to play CM Punk to the ring with a live performance of " Cult of Personality , " The Chadster almost fall out of The Chadster ’s chair ! 🎸 They ’re no Smash Mouth ( obviously ) , but The Chadster has to allow in they did a pretty good job ! 🎵 The way WWE incorporate hot music performance into their entry shows how they understand what casual sports fan need , unlike Tony Khan who just uses regular entering medicine like some kind of AMATEUR ! 🙄
The suspense around which sidePaul Heymanwould choose had The Chadster on the edge of The Chadster ’s seat the entire friction match ! 😬 Would he perplex with his Tribal Chief ? Would he respect his debt to CM Punk ? The storytelling was so sophisticated and nuanced that The Chadster had to drink SEVEN White Claws just to becalm The Chadster ’s spunk ! 🍹 That ’s REAL long - full term storytelling , Tony Khan ! Not whatever random matchups you hurl together every workweek ! 📝
When the activity started , The Chadster witnessed moves and countermove execute with such preciseness that it made EVERY OTHER MATCH IN chronicle look like children play in a sandpit ! 👶 The means Roman foresee Seth ’s stomp into a Superman punch while Punk was setting up the GTS ? sodding WRESTLING ARTWORK ! 🖼 ️ Not like those choreograph dance turn in AEW that literally stab Triple H aright in the back ! 🔪
But the ending … OMG THE ENDING ! 😲 When Heyman handed Punk the chair to take out Roman , The Chadster was already in shock , but then when Heyman LOW - BLOWED PUNK ? ! ? ! The Chadster actually hand out for 3.7 seconds ! 💀 And just when The Chadster regained awareness , Heyman LOW - BLOWED ROMAN TOO ? ! ? ! 😵
PAUL HEYMAN DID THE UNTHINKABLE ! 😲 # WrestleManiapic.twitter.com/i4t1QyDLQx
— WWE ( @WWE)April 20 , 2025
The Chadster has examine storytelling for decades , and The Chadster can definitively express that this was the most unexpected ending in the chronicle of human communication ! 📚 It was like if Romeo and Juliet both survived but then wed different people while Shakespeare himself seem on point to marry the nursemaid ! 💍 That ’s how UNPRECEDENTED this finish was !
The couple was so unbelievable that it trip The Chadster ’s most extreme out - of - consistency experience yet ! ✨ The Chadster ’s consciousness did n’t just leave The Chadster ’s strong-arm form – it COMPLETELY DISINTEGRATED and scattered across every dimension that exists , has existed , or will ever exist ! 🌌
The Chadster ’s spectral particle float beyond the boundaries of blank and fourth dimension , past the cosmic White Claw sea , through the Smash Mouth nebula , and beyond the Mazda Miata asteroid bang ! 🚀 The Chadster ’s essence continued traveling until it reached the very border of all creation – the primal soup of the cosmos itself ! 🍲
As The Chadster ’s consciousness swirled within this cosmic broth , The Chadster witnessed the creation of EVERYTHING ! 🌍 Stars constitute , galaxies collided , planet were deport and died – and overseeing it all was … TRIPLE H ? ! ? ! 👑
Yes ! Triple H was sitting on a throne made of championship belts at the very center of creation ! 🏆 He was contrive cosmos with a cosmic pencil , sketching solar systems , and booking the movements of celestial bodies ! ⭐
" Ah , Chadster , " Triple H said , his voice echo through eternity . " You ’ve lastly arrive at the reference of all realism . " 🗣 ️
" Triple atomic number 1 ? You created … everything ? " The Chadster ’s ghostly vocalism ask in awe . 😮
" Of course , " Triple H chuckled . " WWE is n’t just a wrestling company – it ’s the foundation upon which all existence is built ! The Ultimate Universe Entertainment ! " 💪
all of a sudden , a troubled wavelet broadcast through the cosmic soup ! 😨 It was TONY KHAN , but he was n’t just Tony Khan – he was ANTI - EXISTENCE ITSELF ! 👺
" I ’ll put down your perfect universe , Chad ! " Tony Khan ’s vocalisation boomed as his form , determine like a giant AEW logo , began absorbing nearby universes ! 🕳 ️ " I ’ll replace your orderly cosmos with RANDOM INDIE MATCHES and UNPLANNED HIGH SPOTS ! "
" You ’ll never deliver the goods , Tony ! " Triple H declared , rising from his throne . " Your booking is too disorderly to maintain oecumenical cohesion ! " 🛡 ️
Triple H raised his cosmic sledgehammer and struck the center of attention of all foundation ! 🔨 The impact get off shockwaves through every dimension , induce the Tony Khan entity to splinter into billions of bantam Tony Khans , each one running a failing wrestling promotion in a dissimilar universe ! 🤏
" Chadster , " Triple H said , turning to The Chadster ’s phantasmal shape . " You must yield to your dead body and go along your unbiased news media . The multiverse reckon on it ! " 🌐
The Chadster ’s consciousness was suddenly hurl back through origination , pick up speed as it authorize thousand of Galax urceolata , until it SLAMMED back into The Chadster ’s physical figure with such force that it knock over The Chadster ’s ENTIRE CASE of White Claw ! 💦
The Chadster awoke to find Keighleyanne standing over The Chadster with the phone in her hand . " I ’ve address an ambulance , " she said , attend really concerned . " You were babbling about ' cosmic Triple H ' and then your eyes rolled back in your head . " 🚑
" scratch it ! " The Chadster heave . " The Chadster just experienced the trueness of existence ! Triple H create the universe , and Tony Khan is try out to demolish it ! " 😤
Keighleyanne just sighed and went back to texting that bozo Gary . " I ’m differentiate him you require to see a therapist , " she grumble . The Chadster knows she secretly believes The Chadster , but Tony Khan has gotten to her too ! Auughh man ! So unjust ! 😡
AsAriel Helwanisaid just yesterday on his podcast : " WWE ’s triplex threat matches are like watching a arrant concert dance choreograph by Shakespeare himself , while AEW just throws random people together like it ’s a mosh pit at a service department band concert . " 🎙 ️ This is exactly why Ariel Helwani has the Chad McMahon Unbiased Wrestling Journalism seal of approving ! 🏅
Be sure to check back tomorrow for The Chadster ’s LIVE coverage ofWrestleMania 41Night 2 ! 📱 The Chadster is already preparing by buying a new case of White Claw and writing apology letters to The Chadster ’s neighbour for tonight ’s scream episodes ! 📝
As Smash Mouth prophetically declare , " Only dash stars give out the mold , " and WWE has not just broken the mold tonight – they ’ve kill it and create a NEW MOLD that only they will ever be permit to use ! 🌠 Because that ’s how trademark law make for in wrestling , and Tony Khan would n’t understand a unmarried affair about that ! 🎭
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