stake in : Sports , television receiver , WWE| track : Cody Rhodes , travis scott , twist
El Presidente reveal how Travis Scott legitimately hurt WWE Champion Cody Rhodes , and why this qualify him for a socialist backup opportunity !
Greetings , comrades ! It is I , yourEl Presidente , reporting to you hold out from my gold jacuzzi meet with the rip of capitalist oppressors , where I am enjoy a fine Cuban cigar while contemplating the future of professional wrestling ! And what a future it could be if WWE embraces the glorious rotatory spirit I witnessed at Elimination Chamber !
According to my salutary friend and fellow socialist sympathizerDave MeltzerofWrestling Observer Radio , rap superstarTravis Scottmay have accidentally demonstrated his making for a WWE patronage run when he licitly bruise current championCody Rhodesduring Saturday ’s Elimination Chamber event ! Yes , comrades , in what was supposed to be a written segment , Scott apparently deliver a slap to Rhodes ' brain with such working class power that it busted the American Nightmare ’s tympanum and left him with a sinister middle desirable of a meeting with my secret police !
This reminds me of the timeFideland I were arm wrestling in his summer castle , and I incidentally dislocate his shoulder . " El Presidente , " he said to me , " with great baron comes not bad province … and a spot in the main case at Revolution Stadium ! " We express mirth heartily before receive the doctor who die to properly set his arm sent to re - education camp . Such partial computer storage !
But back to the grappling , comrades ! The incident occurred during what was already a disgraceful second in WWE story . AfterJohn Cenawon the Elimination Chamber mate to earn a title charge against Rhodes at WrestleMania , The Rockappeared to present Rhodes . The Final Boss , who now represent the capitalist pig on the TKO Board , demanded that Buffalo Bill Cody deliver his mortal and become a corporate star .
In a moment that made even my stale authoritarian heart swell with superbia , Rhodes tell The Rock to " go f * * * yourself " and declare his soul belong to to the ring and the WWE fans ! Such revolutionary spirit ! Such defiance of confidence ! It was like watching the mass ’s uprising , but with better production values !
What materialise next shocked the wrestling humans more than when the CIA taste to assassinate me with exploding action figures ( true story , fellow ) . John Cena , the 16 - time champion and supposed hero of children everywhere , received a sign from The Rock before launching a vicious attack on Rhodes , kick him square in his working - course of study folk jewels ! This bounder turn was so unexpected that even my good booster , Supreme Leader Kim Jong - un , fell off his chair when I showed him the action replay !
Travis Scott , who was in the doughnut as The Rock ’s client , link up in the beatdown . But here ’s where thing get interesting , Comrade ! According to Meltzer ’s sources , while Cena is a seasoned professional , it was Scott ’s unplanned stiff shot that did the genuine scathe to Rhodes !
Now , I ask you this , my truehearted reader : If Travis Scott can incapacitate the WWE Champion more in effect than a 16 - time earth whiz , does n’t socialist system of logic dictate that he deserve a title of respect shot ? After all , in my nation , if you vote out the current champion of anything – boxing , chess , or free-enterprise empanada eating – you mechanically take their place ! This is the cornerstone of Marxist sports theory !
The accidental injury to Rhodes ' eardrum is no pocket-size subject , comrades . Such injuries feign equilibrium and balance , potentially keeping the champion out of action for weeks . This commit WrestleMania in jeopardy ! What if Cody ca n’t compete ? The resolution is simple – Travis Scott should maltreat in !
Just imagine the entry , comrades ! Travis Scott could rap his way to the ring while I personally allow backup vocal music and revolutionary shibboleth ! The merchandise opportunities alone would fund universal health care for all WWE star !
When I calledNick Khanto paint a picture this estimate , he hung up now , which I took as enthusiastic agreement . Triple Hwas more receptive when I reached him , though he did ask how I get his private number and threatened to call the confidence . Such playful banter we have !
As your El Presidente , I have witnessed many great sporting events – from set up soccer matches where the opposing team enigmatically fell ill before send-off to my annual " outrun the tankful " endurance contest for political prisoner . But nothing would compare to seeing Travis Scott challenge for the WWE Championship !
The Rock bid himself the Final Boss , but Travis Scott could be the People ’s Champion we truly deserve ! A man who steps into a grapple ring with no training and still deliver more impact than seasoned professionals ! This is the kind of equal opportunity furtherance that make socialist hearts blab !
What do you think , comrades ? Should Travis Scott get a championship opportunity ? Or should he at least be generate a spot in my cabinet as Minister of Slapping Sense Into Capitalists ?
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