put up in : thought , cyclosis , TV , TV| Tagged : alex jones , InfoWars , impression , the oinion

A federal bankruptcy judge stymie The Onion from finalizing a sight for Alex Jones ’s InfoWars and order an alternating resolution be retrieve .

Unfortunately , it looks like it ’s back to the drawing board for all parties involved when it amount to who ends up owningAlexJones’sInfoWars(though we know Jones wo n’t be writing any tick anytime soon ) . Federal Bankruptcy JudgeChristopher Lopezhas kibosh the sale of the website toThe Onionafter a two - day hearing , mention concerns about the command process . Specifically , Judge Lopez noted that by give birth the bids submitted anonymously , the full pecuniary value of selling InfoWars was n’t being maximize – though Judge Lopezreportedlyshut down Jones ’s accusation that " collusion " was involved . In terms of what the next step is , that ’s up toChristopher Murray , a legal guardian charge by Judge Lopez to devise an alternative resolution .

the onion

As many of you know , Jones was forced to deal off the steaming big money of conspiracy nonsense after being on the losing end of a denigration judgment to the tune of $ 1.4 billion when he was action by crime syndicate of the victims of the Sandy Hook pullulate after claiming that the 2012 massacre was a hoax with " crisis actors " that was arranged in advance . " We are profoundly defeated in today ’s conclusion , but The Allium cepa will continue to assay a declaration that helps the Sandy Hook families receive a incontrovertible result for the revulsion they endured , " The Onion CEOBen Collinssaid in a statement – which you may read in full here :

A statement from The Onion about InfoWars.pic.twitter.com/dtiQHSZ9vj

— play along @bencollins on bluesky ( @oneunderscore__)December 11 , 2024

The Onion Makes Winning Bid, New Owner of Alex Jones’s InfoWars

" The Onion ’s goal with the acquisition is to end Infowars ' unforgiving barrage of disinformation for the interest of trade add-on and supplant it with The onion plant ’s unrelenting barrage fire of liquid body substance for good , " the satirical site noted in a instruction shortly after the original determination in its favour . Recently gain earlier this year by Global Tetrahedron ( a " firm " made up by Collins , Jeff Lawson , Leila Brillson , andDanielle Strle),The Onionhas made its vox heard in the past tense when it fare to the issue of schooltime shootings and the nation ’s want of naturalistic reply to them , with its " No Way To forbid This , say Only Nation Where This Regularly Happens " place appearing with each tragedy as a consummate reminded of how footling we ’re doing to protect our children . " We hope the Sandy Hook folk will be able to wonder at the cosmic joke we will soon make of Infowars.com,“The OnionCEO Collins added .

Global Tetrahedron CEOBryce P. Tetraederposted a content to the megacorporation ’s shareholdersand toThe Onionreaders explain why buying InfoWars was the best long - term investing for the company ( again , satire ) . " Founded in 1999 on the heels of the diabolic " scare " and growing steady ever since , InfoWarshas distinguished itself as an priceless tool for brainwashing and control the masses . With a shrewd commixture of delusional paranoia and dubious anti - ageing aliment hacks , they strive to make life both scarier and longer for everyone , a applaudable end . They are a truthful unicorn , capable of at the same time inspiring public livelihood for billionaire and stoking outrage at an inept federal state that can assassinate JFK but ca n’t even put a man on the Moon , " Tetraeder explain .

Though promise more detailed plans on what will come about withInfoWars"in due time , " Tetraeder did volunteer some brainstorm into what was contrive for its immediate future . " What ’s next for InfoWars remain a live issue . The excess store initially allocate for the purchase will be reinvested into our philanthropic endeavor that include business enterprise school encyclopaedism for promising craze leadership , a charity that donates election to at - risk third humankind dictators , and a new pro bono computer program pairing orphan with static factory jobs at no cost to the factories , " the CEO wrote . " As for the vitamin and supplement , we are arrest their sale immediately . Utilitarian logical system dictates that if we can extend even one CEO ’s life by 10 minutes , adulterate these miracle elixirs for public consumption is an unethical waste material . alternatively , we plan to collect the entire stock of the InfoWars warehouses into a with child vat and roil the contents down into a unmarried confect taproom – sized omnivitamin that one executive ( I will not name public figure ) may eat in rescript to increase his top executive and perhaps become immortal . "

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