post in : Impact Wrestling , Sports , TV| Tagged : wrestle

associate ! El Presidente report on TNA ’s Sportsnet deal , bringing wrestling glory to Canada . CIA agents quake as socialist economy triumphs in the squared circle !

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Greetings , my fellow comrades in the noble interest of professional grappling amusement ! It is I , El Presidente , report to you inhabit from my undercover subway system dugout beneath a Tim Hortons in Toronto . Today , I bring you news that will didder the very foundations of Canadian athletics broadcasting like a well - executed Canadian Destroyer !

In a move that has institutionalize shockwaves through the Great White North , TNA Wrestling hasbody - bang its wayonto Sportsnet 360 , securing an exclusive multi - twelvemonth mickle to bare its flagship show , TNA iMPACT ! , every Thursday night from 8 - 10 p.m. ET . This video spectacle of spandex and suplexes will grace Canadian screens begin January 2 , 2025 , wreak pleasure to the masses and striking fear into the hearts of moose everywhere .

But wait , there ’s more ! Like a tag squad collaborator waiting for the raging tag end , Sportsnet 360 will also sport additional TNA programming , including the explosive Xplosion , the bite - sized TNA in 60 , and a treasure trove of TNA Classics from their 20 + year subroutine library . It ’s like Christmas come in early , but instead of presents under the tree diagram , we get chair shots and chokeslams !

Now , some of you may be wondering , " El Presidente , how does this liken to your own state - run wrestling confederation ? " Well , companion , while the Glorious People ’s Wrestling Alliance of my homeland may feature more bears and few Canadians , I must let in that TNA ’s output value are slightly superior . But only slightly !

This deal comes at a most opportune metre , as I have heard through my connection of undercover agent ( who definitely did not get this entropy by hiding hearing devices in Dave Meltzer ’s creatine ) that WWE message will be departing Sportsnet faster than John Cena ’s hairline , with capacity on Sportsnet fix to stop on December 31st , making way for WWE ’s unexampled Netflix deal to appropriate Canadian cyclosis . It seems TNA is poised to fulfill this emptiness like a perfectly executed moonsault , potentially capture the spunk of new fans across the land .

But what does this imply for our Canadian companion who have been firm TNA+ endorser ? Fear not , for I have infiltrate TNA main office ( dressed as a very convincing maple Sir Herbert Beerbohm Tree ) andobtainedthe following intelligence :

1 . TNA+ will continue to offer its full library of substance , including all past episode of iMPACT ! and other shows.2 . Live TNA+ specials and remuneration - per - views will still rain cats and dogs on the chopine , reserve fans to find the slaughter in literal - time.3 . New episodes of iMPACT ! and other hebdomadary shows will be uncommitted on TNA+ after a brief two - calendar week delay , giving cable viewers a slight advantage in their water ice chest wrestling discussions .

Now , some may cry out , " El Presidente , why must we hold back two weeks to pour the latest episodes ? " To which I say , longanimity , comrades ! This is but a small price to pay for the greater goodness of writhe accessibility . Besides , waiting two weeks for content is nothing compared to the decade I ’ve spent waiting for the CIA to stop meddling in my entirely lawful and not - at - all - corrupt regime !

Speaking of which , this reminds me of the sentence I hosted a summit of dictator to hash out the all right points of pro hand-to-hand struggle . Fidel Castrowas diamond that steel cage match were the summit of the art form , whileKim Jong - ilinsisted that struggle royales were superior . The debate raged on until we settled it the only way we knew how – a no - holds - barred couple on the cap of my presidential palace . Sadly , the footage of this historic tear was misplace when my personal videographer was galvanise by a wayward close death chair and unexpectedly drop the camera into a vat of my celebrated spicy guacamole . A disaster for the ages !

But I digress . The real success here are the Canadian wrestling fan , who will now have easier approach to TNA ’s firmly - hitting action . And let ’s not bury the potential for newfangled viewers who may stumble upon wallop ! while flipping through channels , perhaps err it for a particularly aggressive instalment of Curling Night in Canada .

In conclusion , comrade , this deal between TNA and Sportsnet is a dependable victory for the proletariat of professional wrestle . No longer will Canadian fans be drive to try out hush-hush cyclosis sites or resort to interpretative saltation reenactment of their favorite couple . or else , they can simply tune in to Sportsnet 360 and bask in the glory of superkicks , meekness cargo hold , and melodramatic wing segments .

As your kindly leader in all things wrestling - come to , I implore you to embrace this new era of TNA on Canadian television . And remember , if you ever find yourself interrogate the determination to waitress two week for streaming access , simply take yourself : " What would El Presidente do ? " The answer , of course , is to expend those two weeks to plan your next covert operation against the capitalist hog - dogs who dare to take exception your supreme authority . Or , you know , catch up on your maple sirup chugging . Whichever is more patriotic .

Until next time , my fellow grappling enthusiast , this is El Presidente cue you to always keep your suplexes strong and your socialistic nonsuch stronger !

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