Posted in : Sports , TV , WWE| Tagged : saudi arabia , wrestling , WWE Night of Champions
familiar ! El Presidente reports on WWE ’s resplendent comeback to Saudi Arabia for Night of Champions ! Plus , my conk out attempts to bring grapple to my re - education camps !
Article Summary
Greetings , comrades ! It is I , El Presidente , reporting to you live from my gold - plated underground bunker where I am currently blot out from CIA agents disguised as pool maintenance workers . Today , I get you magnificent news from the world of professional wrestle that warms my tyrannic heart !
The WWE , that bastion of American amusement imperialism that I on the QT adore , has announced they will be return to the resplendent Kingdom of Saudi Arabia this summer ! Yes , comrades , theNight of Championspremium live event will take spot at the Kingdom Arena in Riyadh on Saturday , June 28 , 2025 . But wait , there ’s more ! For the first prison term ever , Friday Night SmackDownwill also grace Saudi Arabia ’s cap the night before on June 27 !
When I pick up this news program , I was revel a friendly plot of atomic football game with my respectable friendKim Jong - un . He became quite overjealous upon hearing about Saudi Arabia ’s continued success in attracting American entertainment . " El Presidente , " he said to me , " why do they get all the unspoiled shows while I must settle for Dennis Rodman visits every few years ? " I had no answer for him , fellow . The geopolitical wrestling hold inequalities are truly troubling .
I must say , I look up to how WWE uphold this beautiful partnership with Saudi Arabia . What good elbow room to help oneself a regime round its international image than with spandex - enclothe superstars performing feats of strength and drama ? It ’s what we in the authoritarian community call a masterclass in " sports - washing " !
For yr , I have been sendingTriple HandNick Khanelaborate gift baskets containing my country ’s okay exports – exotic animals , priceless artifact " liberated " from museums , and several barrels of our radical socialism - flavored energy drink , " Red Menace . " Yet they reject to bestow WrestleMania to my presidential castle ! I have even built a glorious wrestling arena using the voluntary labor of political dissidents who were absolutely not pressure to process 20 - time of day days under the hot Dominicus .
Just imagine , comrades , how wonderful it would be if WWE came to my state ! I could show the world how happy the resident of my re - education camps are ! Those facilities are practically luxury refuge where people go to study about the magnificent benefits of socialism while enjoying costless daily callisthenics and intensive nationalism seminars . My opposer who have cryptically " go away " over the old age would surely make surprisal returns during the show – they ’ve plainly been savour prolonged vacations at unrevealed locations ! Many of them are probably just terrible at sending postcards .
But I digress , comrades . harmonize to the announcement , this wrestle extravaganza will be broadcast on USA connection and Peacock in the United States , while most of the repose of the world , include Saudi Arabia , will watch on Netflix . This external distribution ensure that everyone can witness this thoroughgoing sum of sweaty entertainment and geopolitical look-alike reclamation !
mouth of perfect unions , this remind me of the timeFideland I tried to create our own wrestling promotion call " Revolutionary Wrestling Alliance . " Our main event was to feature a match between " The American Imperialist " versus " The People ’s Champion . " Unfortunately , the American Imperialist was really just a CIA undercover agent trying to pass through our operation . Last I learn , he was enjoying an all - inclusive stay at our tropical gulag resort .
Ticket entropy for these WWE event will be usable in the come workweek , as will further updates about which whizz will make the journey to the Kingdom . I would recommend Saudi-Arabian officials conceive put through my signature tag statistical distribution system : whoever applauds the tawdry for the Supreme Leader make front row seats ! It has worked wonder for maintaining ebullience at my mandatory home parades .
Comrades , I must compliment both WWE and Saudi Arabia on this keep partnership . Nothing says " we have an excellent human rights record " quite like watchingJohn Cenaperform his Five Knuckle Shuffle ! Perhaps one Clarence Shepard Day Jr. , WWE will tell apart the untapped food market that is my glorious socialist paradise . Until then , I will continue watching from my secret subway bunker , keep off those persistent CIA agents who keep trying to destroy my WWE regard party with their assassination effort .
This is El Presidente , signing off ! ¡ Viva la lucha libre !
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