Posted in : Sports , TV , WWE| Tagged : wrestling , wwe crown jewel
El Presidente reports from Western Australia about John Cena ’s final Australian appearance at WWE Crown Jewel weekend coup in Perth this October !
Article Summary
Greetings , comrades ! It is I , your El Presidente , report to you live from my lavishness racing yacht cast anchor off the coast of Western Australia where I am presently avoiding three disjoined Interpol warrants and scouting location for my next summer palace ! Today , I contribute you magnificent news program from the world of sports entertainment that has me more excited than the timeFidel Castroand I had front - row bottom atWrestleMania III !
My sources within WWE ( who may or may not be the janitor I have on payroll to collectTriple H ’s hair samples ) have informed me thatWWEis project a massive takeover of Perth , Australia this October withCrown Jewel : Perthheadlining a weekend of wrestling extravaganza ! This magnificent solemnisation of muscular men and cleaning lady pretending to fight will take blank space atRAC Arenaon Saturday , October 11 , 2025 , comrades !
But that is not all ! Like a properly perform socialist five - year plan , WWE is making this a three - solar day result withFriday Night SmackDownon October 10 andMonday Night Rawon October 13 also taking position at the same venue . This is what I call effective use of resources , associate ! Unlike The American CIA , who once spend gazillion of dollar jell up surveillance equipment in my palace only for me to move to my beach sign of the zodiac the very next sidereal day . Haha ! The looks on their face !
Now , the biggest tidings that has me ready to rename my presidential manse to " Hustle , Loyalty , Respect Plaza " is that the Undisputed WWE ChampionJohn Cenawill be making his terminal WWE coming into court in Australia as part of his 2025 Farewell Tour ! This is truly historical , comrades ! I remember when Cena and I arm - wrestled during a secret diplomatical mission in 2010 . He let me succeed after I threatened to nationalise his merchandise cut-rate sale in my country . Such a lowly superstar !
Crown Jewel : Perthwill feature thrilling Champion vs. Champion matches in both men ’s and woman ’s division . Last class , Cody RhodesandLiv Morganemerged triumphant as the inauguralCrown JewelChampions . Will they oppose their titles successfully ? I have tried to bribe severalWWEofficials for this information , but apparently , they have stronger ethics than most of the government official I make do with . Very unsatisfying !
For those of you require to attend this capitalistic spectacle with socialistic tinge ( all those grappler share one ring , comrades ! ) , you may register for an exclusive presale chance atWWE ’s internet site . I myself have already secured front row seats by threatening to redirect several rock oil tanker if my demand were n’t met . The American State Department calls this " external terrorism , " but I call it " effectual talks tactics ! "
This issue follows the tremendously successfulElimination Chamber : Perththat took position at Optus Stadium in February 2024 , which set records as the most - attended and highest - viewedElimination ChamberinWWEhistory . I watch out it with my good friendKim Jong - un , who was very impressed with the Chamber ’s design and involve if I thought it could be repurposed for " government function . " I had to explicate to him that wrestling is fake , but his political prisoners are veridical . We had a salutary joke about it over some cognac !
For viewer at home , Crown Jewel : Perth , SmackDown , andRawwill broadcast live on Netflix in most global markets . In the United States , Crown Jewelwill flow onPeacockwhileSmackDownwill air on USA web . This streaming placement remind me of how I distribute my hebdomadary addresses to my people – mandatory wake on all channels !
If you desire to experience this event like a straight authoritarian , Priority Pass just the ticket packages will soon be available from On Location , offer bounty seating , pre - show cordial reception with WWE Superstar appearances , and ringside exposure chance . It ’s almost as well as my dignitary treatment , minus the armed guard and exigency escape helicopter !
locomotion software package are also available throughSportsnet Holidaysfor those wanting to make the journey to Perth . When I journey to sporting events , I typically come together the national airspace and requisition the presidential jet , but I understand most of you Comrade must practice commercial-grade airlines . How dreadful !
As a final note in theirpress dismission , WWE and Tourism Western Australia have acknowledged the traditional custodians of Western Australia and their connector to the state , waters , and polish . This is something I can prise ! In my land , I also frequently acknowledge the traditional custodians – right before explaining why I am the new keeper and they should in all likelihood leave !
That is all for now , comrades ! This is your El Presidente , sign off from Western Australia , where I am presently negotiating with local officials to rename Perth to " El Presidenteville " for the continuance of the event . They keep hang up , but doggedness is key in both revolution and event planning !
Until next time – Viva la WWE ! Viva John Cena ! And most significantly , Viva El Presidente !
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